On to the next one
Thank you, Boston
By the time this gets published, I will be sitting at the gate at Newark Airport waiting to board my flight back to Singapore. Normally, this time of year I would be writing a post focusing on the lessons learned in yet another year of the grad school journey, but unfortunately this is the last chapter. I ended up leaving the program, master’s degree in hand, and have made the tough call to move home. This post will serve as a farewell to a city I called home for the past three years.
The past three years have been nothing short of developmental, both physically and mentally, for it pushed me to the brink on more than one occasion. However, it has also been a period during which I grew and learned to be kinder to myself. Every challenge, calamity, injury, and scary encounter with geese served as an opportunity for growth. I found that since 2023, I have experienced unique opportunities in my personal and professional life that I would not have even dreamed of. I got opportunities to present research on fatherhood and stay-at-home parents to policymakers, along with running the Spartan race and competing at Ironman Vitoria-Gasteiz. I’m struggling to find words other than gratitude to express the joy and appreciation for all I was able to do over the past few years.
Although this blog post isn’t about the lessons learned from the past year of graduate school, there are still some general lessons that will carry with me as I venture into this next chapter post-Boston.
The first lesson is: Do not underestimate time spent outdoors:
This sounds like some irrelevant twaddle from a LinkedIn lunatic’s post, but a part of Boston I genuinely enjoyed was the air quality. It made going outside, even for simple walks, a joy rather than a chore. When training for the Ironman involved longer bike rides and runs, there was little trepidation. There is a feeling of relief of simply being outdoors. There is, however, one massive caveat with this lesson and that is the weather. The past year I got to experience of the worst snowstorms to hit Boston in its history and so outdoor time was not an option. The same was said for the atrocious heat earlier this summer. Nevertheless, the air quality is something I will preach as one of the best things about this city, as it makes access to all things nature-related genuinely enjoyable.
The second lesson is: A renewed joy in cooking for myself and others.
I am almost certainly going to get some kickback on this next statement, but if there is one thing I won’t miss in its entirety, it is Boston’s food scene. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great restaurants and bars, but many are lacking in displaying real soul or passion. There are a lot of copycats, and ultimately it dilutes the originality of food offerings in this city. Boston has the potential to be a great food city. There is a lot going for the city, and to be let down by food that isn’t the best and is unreasonably expensive is the real shame. The city has access to amazing produce, which led me down two fun avenues. The first is a renewed interest in trying fun recipes for myself and diversifying healthy meal prep. The second avenue led me to some amazing potlucks organized by the many wonderful people I got to meet in Boston. Food is a language that can connect everyone, and the more we share, the better off we are. When it comes to sharing food, two distinct memories come to mind. The first is a version of bake-off that allowed me to meet some amazing individuals and bask in the awe of their baking talents. The second was a cooking workshop I got to organize with my friends in the BU and BC doctoral program. It was tremendous fun getting to share this side of me, as it helped me to reignite a love of cooking and sharing recipes with others. It has been a while since I got to share recipes with others, and it hit close to home in unexpected ways.
The third lesson is: If in doubt, adopt not one but two cats
One of the biggest changes that took place was the addition of Chopper and Hodor in my life. Admittedly, I did have some trepidation about adopting cats as I had not had pets before, and it was uncharted waters for me. However, almost immediately I knew my better half had made the right decision. They have brought immense joy in my life and have kept me relatively sane throughout the past year. I am going to miss them tremendously in this next chapter, but I know Erin will continue to be the best cat mum ever. The boys have grown to take on numerous roles, including project supervisor, sous chef, and cycle coach and social media app blocker. Cats add a certain spark to life, and if you are able to provide for a consistent home and attention, I wholeheartedly endorse cat adoption/fostering.
The last lesson is: School is temporary, friendship is forever
Three years is more impactful than one might think. I felt I got to experience some immense professional growth with the skills learned from mentors, advisors, co-authors but in my personal life there was also tremendous growth in that arena. I made some amazing friends across the academic landscape, and it is heartbreaking to come to the conclusion that I will no longer be a short T ride of these amazing people. We got to experience all manner of shenanigans and general fun times together, and I know this is not a goodbye but rather a see you soon/next rounds on me. These friendships will transcend the brief time we spent together in Boston. Some of the highlights include our various game nights, reality TV watch parties, and even the humble coffee shop study session. While it was a short chapter, it is certainly a profound and meaningful one at that. To those still in academia, I eagerly look forward to adding the letters PhD after your name.
Looking back at my time here, I realize it is not going to hit me all at once. But it’s going to hit me in little waves. I’ll stumble upon something like a photo, or a post about Love Island, MSG, reviewer 2 memes, and it’ll hit me. I’ll laugh initially, but I know a tear or two will drop. These won’t be tears of sadness, but rather joy and gratitude for the memories gained and the future ones yet to come.
Till next time, Boston, I’ll be back soon for some lobsta and chowda ✌🏾.