Reflections on turning 30
Only a modicum of panic struck
This is yet another departure from what my usual posts are about, for recently, I turned 30. It was a significant milestone marked by multiple dinners, a weather-interrupted game night, cake, drinks, and most importantly, my partner and my family. When it comes to how I felt, apart from a backache, all I could feel was gratitude paired with an intriguing mix of nostalgia. In the week since turning 30, I reflected upon the previous decade, which was the most transformative of my life (thus far).
My twenties were marked with key milestones, beginning with completing my National Service - Completing two years in the Singapore Police Force was one of the best tests of my resolve that I would face in this decade. While there were many I did not enjoy about that time, the rampant bullying and fat shaming faced in basic training being one, it did teach me a lot about engaging with people. There really is a significant deal to learn when you shut up and actually listen - a tool I carry to this day.
Another big milestone would have to be six weeks in South America with my close mates, Ethan and Vinay. Though it has been a decade since that wild and wacky adventure, I still rank it as one of the best trips, if not the best trip I will do in my life. To entertain my nostalgia, I try to sneak in reminders of my travels there in my daily life; for instance, I use a photo taken from the Inca Trail in Peru as my laptop wallpaper.
Another milestone would have to be my undergraduate days, a generally happy time despite being a member of the illustrious class of 2020 (five years on we still have some hang ups). Attending Skidmore, three years older than most of my classmates, did present some challenges. Still, remarkably, these were not in the form of being the designated uncle of my college friend groups, but more cultural changes. While I have traveled to the United States before on numerous occasions, even staying for six weeks in Chicago in the summer as a high schooler, I felt a strong sense of disconnect with some of my American friends. While some of them are some of my closest friends, to this day, we still have occasional jokes about some of our cultural differences and just how we interact. The differences may seem. minute, namely how individuals interact (I found myself quieter in comparison to my American friends) and eating rice with a fork rather than a spoon, yet they can add up. This is not to say that I did not enjoy myself, I throughoughly did. College was a time of great learning and a time of making valuable friendships who imparted knowledge on how to make the best of my time at Skidmore whilst having a collasal amount of fun. I can safely say all the cliches about college do reign true.
While college was a great time of my life, the years following proved to be a great hurdle, namely due to Covid. Covid was transformational to everyone, there is zero doubt about it. I ended up returning back to Singapore to finish off my semester and go through a quarter life-crisis to figure out what to do with my life. While navigating Covid restrictions I ended up falling for trends such as baking and cycling but I did find them to be good fun. To this day I will occasionally indulge in some baking but in all honestly, it pales in comparison to the experts (my mum). However cycling is something I still do frequently, more so now, since falling for the trap of aiming to do a ridiculous fitness event (ahem, ironman).
Eventually, while spending endless time job hunting I found myself at a research job at INSEAD. I started getting into research work in the last year of my undergraduate and just became simply hooked with this career path. For a bit of context, INSEAD were one of many organizations that took part in a scheme run by the Singapore government to help subsidize salaries. Little did I know at the time, that my two years there would prove to be incredibly formative. I got to work with a great supervisor and despite having co-author troubles when writing and publishing a paper, I still found the process to be incredibly beneficial to my growth and recentring on what I want to do with my life. I was then motivated to ultimately apply for my doctorate. While it was a big investment, it was ultimately a decision I wanted to make as I knew to continue my research passions, this is the step I must take.
During this time, I also took the chance to connect and reconnect with some fantastic individuals in my life, which was made infinitely easier when travel restrictions lifted post-COVID. Feel free to check those out those stories on the blog (shameless plug alert). Those trips that I went on were illuminating, not only because they were to brand-new countries and familiar places but also because of how I approached these trips. These trips allowed me to re-look at how I travel to examine each experience from a sense of genuine appreciation. Each trip I went on I approached with appreciation for the fact that I get to live these experiences. I know that I will carry on as I venture into the new decade.
As I look back upon this decade, I, remarkably, think about the research I am currently working on. The bulk of my research encompasses passion and how the relationships you have help to foster this passion and engagement with work and life. While passion is seen as an intrinsically motivating concept, in reality it is more than that. The enjoyment in life, while it can come from within, it is also made all the more better with amazing people around you. I have an unfortunate tendency to isolate myself when times to get rough and it is a personal mission to be more aware of when I need help. Admittedly, there are many things I do enjoy by myself, long walks in nature for instance, but for the most part, things are more fun when there are others to share them with you.
Last, I feel such a post would not be complete without acknowledging the rock that is my mum, brother and partner. The past years would not be as fun and enlightening without your invaluable input. There are only so many words to express my gratitude but the best I can say is thank you for putting up with ALL of my nonsense over the past few years.
30 does not seem as scary as it once was; I feel I am in a stronger place with these reflections, entering this new unknown. I feel more confident in tackling whatever outrageous nonsense comes my way. Come on, 30s let’s see what you got.